If you follow my instagram (you should – I’m a riot! hahaha) you’ll know that I have been STRUGGLING lately. Writer’s block hit me HARD and I have just, ugh, been TRUDGING through it, trying to keep going. I’m slower with my ideas, my words aren’t as well put-together as I would like, I’m not posting nearly as often as I was before…
I don’t know. It’s like, I decided to this thing in my life, in business, where I’m just going to do ME for a while, and then that me hit a wall and couldn’t see around it.
Granted, it was a pretty big wall.
Then, the other day, I don’t know! The wall came CRASHING down. I got an instagram post out and then just kept on going!
I wrote one of the most emotional pieces I think I’ve ever written. I don’t think I’ve EVER cried while writing before. My. Gosh. And the more I wrote the more I bawled.
And then it was done.
The tears stopped. The piece was written. The fog that came crashing over me that morning lifted.
And I FINALLY had some clarity.
I had an IDEA.
I’ve always known I want to write a book, but I just, I couldn’t figure out what in the heck I wanted to write ABOUT. As much as I adore fiction and fantasy and the made up people, places, superpowers, and things of others’ creation, I just…I don’t have any! I don’t have a great imagination, honestly. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I love climbing into the worlds created by other people so much. Shrug.
So then I’ve sort of been stuck on, you know, you write what you know. Well, what do I know? I’m supposed to know me, pretty well.
I love reading people’s memoirs – I love learning about other people, and their life experiences. I love to read, and when I know it’s really someone’s story I’m that much more invested in it. I don’t think there are any boring stories!
Except maybe mine. I think mine is boring. At least, the stuff I can remember. I wish I had a better memory, but YAY, depression! Hahaha I don’t remember SQUAT. Like, EVER. I was recently in a (terrible) therapy session and he asked about my childhood, like, legit “what was your childhood like?”
Uhm… it was… I don’t remember. Fine and dandy? How was yours?
So how do I take an unremarkable life and turn it into a riveting tale?
And that has been where the I-want-to-write-a-book got stuck. For a LONG time. I don’t have an imaginary story to tell, and mine is too dull for anyone else to read. I’ve just been bouncing back and forth between those two stupid rock-hard I-can’t-do-it places, and never feeling anything but lousy towards myself for once again not accomplishing a thing I want to do.
But you know what? After I finished sobbing and writing that piece the other day? I FINALLY had an idea! FINALLY.
I know what to do! I know what the angle is! I know what’s INTERESTING about it!! About the story I want to tell! About MY story! AAAHhhhhhh! I am suddenly so EXCITED!
I just needed the push.
I think it’s a little while before I actually start writing anything, but my passion planner is now filled with notes, bullet-points, scribbled thoughts, and oh-don’t-forgets! And suddenly, instead of authoring a book being a dream of mine, it’s a thing I’m actually working toward. Like, whoa.
I’m not lying to myself anymore. It’s moved from the dream category to the actionable goal category. And when I REALLY set a goal I always get it!
No, I still have no idea how I’m going to do everything I need to do hahaha but I’m figuring it out as I go! Contrary to my OWN past belief, I am now learning you don’t have to have ALL of your ducks lined up perfectly before you take the first step. Just STEP, man! Did you learn NOTHING watching Indiana Jones take that leap of faith onto the camouflaged walkway? (How much did I just date myself? hahaha)
“Go to the edge of the cliff and jump off. Build your wings on the way down.” -Ray Bradbury
So now, we’re going to run the blog, build the supportive online community, pursue more freelance and affiliate work (like, a LOT more hahaha! Hi! You should work with me – I’m amazing!) WRITE THE DANG BOOK, keep crushing my training goals, and oh yeah, keep ROCKING the mom-gig!
Sounds doable. There’s a whole 24 hours in every day – that’s tons of time!!
What’s holding YOU back right now? What can I help you with? Drop me a comment, message me on Instagram, join the Facebook group… if I can do this with depression-brain you can TOTALLY do yours!! So let’s DO THIS!